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8 Things that Could Be Inside the Google Barge

Let the unfounded speculation begin.

Since the story broke last week, the entire world is speculating about the contents of the secret barges that Google is building, two of which are here at Treasure Island, and one of which is docked in Portland, Maine. For now, the tech company has remained silent about the true nature of the sea vessels. But that hasn't stopped the guesses. Here, in order of likelihood, are our picks for what's inside the Google Barges.

 

1. Floating Data Center In what seems like the most likely scenario, these barges would be used to store large amounts of data. The advantage of putting them on the water? Cooling the technology, which gives out extraordinary levels of heat. Five years ago, Google took out a patent on a sea water cooled data storage vessel that looks awfully similar to what we know about the barges already.

2. Luxury Google Glass Showroom That's what local TV station KPIX has been reporting. It says that the barges wouldn't work as data centers, because not enough power could be supplied to them. Doesn't matter, though, because the real purpose of the barges is to house a high end retail outlet for Google Glass, complete with a party deck.

3. WALL-E Factory As Gizmodo reports, the holding company that Google has set up to hide the existence of the barges is called "By and Large." If that name sounds familiar, it's because it "Buy N Large" was the fictional company in Pixar's Wall-E.

4. The Next Step in Larry Ellison's Plan to Take Over the Bay Could it somehow be a part of a sequel to America's Cup? Doubtful, since Ellison might not have that kind of cash any more. But who know what plots have been hatched at the Battery Club?

5. Cloverfield Monster That was Jon Stewart's idea on The Daily Show. Us? We'd be happier if it were Kudzilla instead.

6. Techno-Libertarian Secessionist Island No way. Peter Thiel's already building that one. And how could you fit all the robot pleasure slaves you'd need on such a small ship?

7. A High Security Prison for Silk Road's Ross Ulbricht How dare his site hide itself from the search bar? Time for Google's revenge.

8. Something to Do with Kanye West and Kim Kardashian Lord we hope not. We had enough of those two last time.

 

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