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Five stiff drinks to celebrate the end of tax season

The hurt of tax season can’t be avoided, only assuaged. The best way to recover is by fighting sobriety with a stiff drink. This is not just any kind of cocktail, mind you—it’s not a margarita and certainly not a cosmopolitan. It must be made primarily of pure booze and feel like a welcome punch in the face. Here are five that won’t let you down. 

 Bar Agricole's Monkey's Gland is sure to help you forget that you didn't hire a CPA this year. 

What to drink: The Bullfighter
Where to drink it: Blackbird
Reposado tequila is fortified and embittered by Cynar (an Italian artichoke-based amaro). Red wine syrup, pepper and lime add the electricity. 2124 Market St. (at Church St.), SF

What to drink: Monkey’s Gland
Where to drink it: Bar Agricole
Gin and absinthe combine with citrus in this classic. So sharp is the dagger that you hardly feel it going down. The pain only arrives with drinks two and three. Be advised. 355 11th St. (at Folsom St.), SF

What to drink: Brooklyn
Where to drink it: Wo Hing General Store
Rye whiskey combines with amer picon, maraschino, and dry vermouth to make this slightly more bitter, complex version of Manhattan. 584 Valencia St. (at 17th St.), SF

What to drink: From a Bottom of a Well
Where to drink it: Jasper’s Corner Tap
Japanese whisky wraps around apple brandy and oloroso sherry to provide cunning slap to the face. 401 Taylor St. (at O’Farrell St.), SF

What to drink: Red Dawn
Where to drink it: Txoko
All you need to know: Serrano-pepper-infused tequila. Blood orange juice and grenadine calms the flame. 504 Broadway (at Kearny St.), SF