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Why Does God Hate Guacamole?

After Mexican cartels spike lime prices, the drought may jack up the cost of avocados. 

Move over Mexican drug lords—Mother Nature runs the worst cartel of them all.

Fresh on the heels of the spike in lime prices—thanks to drug cartels in Michoácan that have been extorting money from the growers—comes another blow to guacamole, God's most perfect food. Turns out that the ongoing drought in California may cause a huge spike in the prices of avocados—as well as many other kinds of fruits and vegetables.

That's according to a study by Arizona State University professor of business Timothy Richards, which found that up to a million acres of agricultural land could be lost during the water shortage, leading to crop production levels at 10 to 20 percent lower than normal. (This is as good a time as any to point out that thanks to the rapid onset of climate change, there's really no such thing as "normal" weather as a concept anymore. Okay, enough with the soapbox. Sorry.)

And less land on which to grow means less supply, and higher prices for food.

The price for lettuce would be hit the worst—jumping 28 percent, followed closely by avocados at an increase of 28%. Products like melons, grapes, broccoli, and peppers could all see rises from fifteen to twenty percent.

In related news, the price of Humboldt county-grown marijuana has also increased thanks to the drought—but only by 10 to 20 percent.

 

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