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Good News for Guys Who Have to Bribe Women to Date Them

They now have their own app. It's called Carrot.

Attention tech bros: This is why they hate you.

Brandon Wade, an Internet Entrepreneur and self-described "very lonely" person, has a knack for blurring the  line between dating and prostitution. His dating websites, (a site where "sugar daddies" find young hotties and "provide" for them) and (self-explanatory), are now joined by his most recent venture: CarrotDating (Tagline: "Bribe your way to a date").

Get it? It’s like the women are little bunnies that can be tricked into a date if you simply dangle something desirable in front of them. Like a spa vacation. Or a Fendi bag. Or a carrot.

Rather than overt prostitution, Carrot favors a bartering system to fulfill the necessary dowry for a man to receive a first date with a woman. (Carrot is entirely hetero-normative in nature.) These bribes vary in substance and value from expensive jewelry, to a cup of coffee, to a vacation. The women can accept, decline, or counter-offer until both parties are in agreement about what material good is worth the time and presence of the woman and allow the man to "have a chance with their dream date." It’s simple, really.

According to a press release we received this morning, there are plenty of San Francisco women out there open to a bribe (blech). Here are the top ten categories:

1. Shopping - 183
2. Spa - 177
3. Vacation – 147
4. Jewelry - 102
5. Movie Tickets - 45
6. Coffee - 42
7. Flowers - 40
8. Dessert- 27
9. Tank of Gas - 27
10. Concert Tickets – 21

Jesus Christ. A tank of gas? We need to take a shower.

Carrot likes to present itself as "modern dating" for your average Joe who, just like Wade, is making lots of scratch but just isn’t getting the response rate he’d like on Tinder. Who would use such a site? Lots of us, apparently; the site has gathered over 120,000 users since its launch in November. 

"Opportunities can be few and far between for many singles," explains Wade. "That is, unless you offer the right incentive." The typical male user of Carrot is work-occupied and probably doesn’t have time for the old-fashioned meet-cute. The assumption here is that these men are so undesirable or otherwise romantically inept that they need to incentivize spending time with them, just to "get their foot in the door." We hope that's a foot in the door that takes them somewhere far, far away from here.


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