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Now You Can Turn the Leap Bus Into Your Own Shaggin' Wagon

Plus: Seven other terrible ideas that are all still better than Leap.

 

If anyone’s interested, we know a guy who can get you a sweet deal on one of those Leap buses. By “we know a guy,” we mean we can link to an eBay ad, and by “sweet deal” we mean $17,999. (An even $18K would have been a deal breaker for someone, presumably.)

It’s not clear if the ad is Leap themselves trying to liquidate their motor pool or if the seller is someone who bought one of the buses at a previous auction and, in true 21st century San Francisco fashion, is now trying to flip it. Either way it’s a particular ignominious tombstone on the whole misguided affair.

But if you happen to have 18 grand lying around, we have a few ideas about how to put this baby to use. (Keeping in mind, of course, that the one thing you cannot do with it is open a luxury bus line sans wheelchair facilities. Someone already tried that one.)

 

1. Tempt fate/regulatory wrath by driving giant party bus for Lyft/Uber.
It’s your bus now, right? You can drive anyone around in it you want, right? And if those people want to pay a fee via the medium of an app as a thank you, that’s totally cool, right? We see no way this could possibly go wrong.

2. Have the sweetest shaggin’ wagon of all time.
You can’t tell us your date’s not going to be impressed when you pull up in this long blue drink of water and offer unparalleled leg room and complimentary coffee and juice bar. And hey, a CDL license is a major turn-on.

3. Park it, turn it into AirBNB housing.
Look, this bus is already bigger and nicer than our last two apartments (combined). You can probably undercut that guy with the $900 Google tent pretty easily. Hey, you can even go park next to the tent and move in on his prime location.

4. Lease it as a Hollywood stunt bus.
We’ve had two summers in a row where a major Hollywood film featured a bus in peril on the Golden Gate Bridge, so bus chase is clearly the new car chase. Let stunt drivers know they can ride/crash in style with plush interiors and excellent wi-fi.

5. Install nitro, drag race Google Bus Fast & Furious style.
Wait until they pull up to a red light, then rev your engine twice. If they rev back, it's on.

6. Make a giant bookmobile as ironic riposte to whole digital economy.
Be sure to be really self-righteous about the cultural superiority of the printed word. People love that.

7. Slap on some bigger tires, pancake cars at monster truck rallies.
It's about time someone took that Truckasaurus down a peg.

8. 13-ton paperweight.
Stands up to even the stiffest Ocean Beach breezes.

 

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Email Adam L. Brinklow at tamlinearthly@gmail.com
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Follow Adam L. Brinklow on Twitter @AdamLBrinklow